How Two Words Can Lick What's Ailing Publishers

Halleleujah! We have found the two little words that will save the American magazine industry.

No, I’m not talking about calling ourselves "magazine media" as some advocate, or turning to "Chapter 11", as many publishers have done. I’m referring to Conde Nast’s new slogan for Bon Appetit: “Bite me.”

It’s just the kind of slogan we all need – a little bit naughty and oh so Me Generation. Just think of the possibilities if other publishers jump on the bandwagon:

• Candy Industry: “Lick me” (if Cosmopolitan doesn’t claim that first).
• Cigar Afficionado: “Smoke me.”
• The Economist: “Sleep with me.” (My eyes glaze over every time I try to look at those dreary pages with their egghead prose.)
• Hardware Retailing: “Drill me.”
• Rolling Stone: “See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me.”
• Vacuum International: Never mind.

And if Cycle World and Penthouse argue over who which one gets to say “Ride me,” they can always turn to The American Lawyer (“So sue me.”) for advice.

It’s enough to make this old print dinosaur feel tragically hip.

I’m calling on all magazine lovers to join the cause by suggesting “me” slogans for their favorite publications. You can email your ideas to dead.tree.edition@gmail.com or submit them as comments to this article.

As for me, I need to go work on implementing the new slogan for Dead Tree Edition: “Climb me.”


If you enjoyed this article, you have a really twisted sense of humor, which means you might also like these Dead Tree Edition attempts at humorous commentary on the magazine industry:  

• 9 Differences Between a School System and a Publishing Company: Lessons for Cathie Black
• Tina Brown Follows Husband's Footsteps -- Sort Of  
• Magazine Publishers: Asleep on the Job?