Congress Is Fixin' To Fix the Postal Service

Word is spreading of a bipartisan, bicameral effort among Congressional leaders to fix the U.S. Postal Service. Before anyone gets too excited, let's remember that "fix" can also mean:

• Castrate or spay
• Restore or repair
• Kill and preserve a specimen so that it can be studied under a microscope
• Give someone a dose of an illegal drug
• Take revenge (as in, "I'll fix him!")
• Arrange an outcome dishonestly, such as with a bribe or by stuffing a ballot box
• Establish something in a way that prevents it from changing (such as a fixed rate)

I'm just sayin'.